Tuesday, June 30, 2009

dimestore diamond

hey so today i bought the new Gossip album, "Music for Men," and im really inspired by the first song, "Dimestore Diamond." it's about a girl who looks fabulous even though she buys really cheap things and cuts her own hair (my life). i love this song.

i think this song is really appropriate now that we're all in an "economic crisis."

i feel bad for people being affected by the economic crisis. i feel i can really "relate 2 them" because ive been in a self-enduced economic crisis for almost a year now, so i think ive gotten pretty good at conserving my money. (the money i have left after shoez).

for those of you "struggling" w/money and trying to stay chic here are some tips:

1. buy cheap lipstick. it's just as good as pricey lipstick, if not more so. cheaper brands make better (trashier) shades! like, Chanel wouldn't have the guts (or creativity) 2 create a shade called "Kool-Aid Glamour," you know? plus ive gotten more compliments on my Revlon lipstick than my Chanel lipstick. true story.

also, be sure to make the most of your lipstick!

red/pink lipstick can also be used as blush.

beige lipstick can work as a concealer/bronzer.

other colors, like purple, black, or brown, for example, can be used as eyeshadow.

2. replace expensive moisturizer and/or makeup remover w/baby oil.

3. for those of you in italy, shop at Upim. it has amazing prices and great styles. like, this week i got two leotards and a cardigan for 30 euros. who cares if they come w/rats?
"Upim, i did it again." -Matt Sabato

4. stop. buying. food.

only drink instant coffee (super cheap, super delicious). and if you want to be really chic, keep old Starbucks cups @ home and fill them up every morning w/your instant coffee. (if Mary Kate were a regular person, affected by the economy, she would do that for sure).

keep your torn stockings!!! ive spent so much money on stockings i dont even want to think about it. (like when recovered addicts talk about all the houses/cars they could have bought had they not spent all their money on crack). for years i was replacing my torn stockings w/new ones. then i realized that A, ripped stockings are totally chic and B, they're especially chic during the summer (ventilation). once i stopped replacing my ripped stockings i had 90% more money.

drink Tavernello. it's like 1 euro and so strong you'll forget what "economic" and "crisis" even mean.

drink only Tavernello. from now on. and bring it 2 the club. if you still want to look "rich" you can drink it in the bathroom and people will think you got drunk off of Vodka Redbulls. if you're REALLY chic, though, you'll drink your Tavernello on the dancefloor. what, everyone's staring @ you? it's bc you're fabulous! and they are jealous.

cut your own hair. it's easy; ive been doing it for almost a decade now. don't worry about doing a "good job." everyone knows that ugly hair is way chicer than pretty hair.

if you are absolutely unable to do it yourself, get your most beautiful, most homosexual friend to do it for you.

10. date a rich person

miss u, britney & k