let's face it, yall: food is gross.
nobody really "eats" anymore.
these days food is nothing but a fashion statement. an accessory.
that being said, if you MUST eat this summer, i suggest only these chic foods:
1. popsicles: make girls look "sexy" and boys look "gay." (neither go out out of style).
2. cotton candy: comes in various colors to match outfits.
3. veggie hot dogs: hot dogs are chic 4 the same reason as popsicles. but they MUST be "veggie" bc its cool to look like you "care about the environment."
4. children's cereal: men only like young girls so anything that reminds them of you as a child is a plus
5. salad: makes you look like you "have an eating disorder" aka are chic.
6. "ethnic food": makes people think you're "worldly" and/or "open-minded."
7. muffins: people will associate you with starbucks, which will associate you with mary kate olsen.
8. ring pops: same reasons as #1 & #3, but mostly they're just great jewelry.
9. oreos: they're vegan ("Hip"), good colors.
10. pork rhinds: these things are so gross people will assume you're just being "ironic."
do yall plan on "eating" this summer?