Tuesday, July 21, 2009

the dreamerz

hey yall im back and so relieved to be in ameriKa; the trip over here was bad; i kept doing stupid shit.--like a week before my trip i printed out my ticket and put it in a "safe place." so of course the NIGHT before my trip i decide to put it in my bag and realize i have no idea where it is. so i call my mom and she calls the airline and says that her "daughter is an idiot plz give her another chance."  4 some reason they do, so like, "ok."

-LESSON: alwayz let your mom do things 4 you-

so everything's cool until i get to london.
when i get there i decide i need to "change my stockings" bc the ones i'm wearing are "too ripped."

so i go to the Ladiez Room with every intention of "hurrying" but like, when youre already in front of a mirror and have all your make up w/you, do you really have a choice?  by the time i get out i realize that i only have 30 min to get through passport control & security, change terminals & find my gate! (if you've ever been 2 London Heathrow airport you know that takes @ LEAST 8 hours).  so im like, "shit."

so im panicking and asking the Airport People to "help me" and eventually an Airport Lady lets me cut in line and every1 in line gets mad @ me and then i "cut another line" and all THOSE people get mad @ me and THEN i cut ANOTHER line and run(!) to another terminal to catch my flight, which had already boarded like, an hour ago. by the time i get there some other Airport Lady @ my gate is yelling abt how some "Teee-uh Hagggick Vlahoveeck" better "get her ass on the plane" or they're "taking off w/o her." LOL. (feel sorry for that Tee-uh girl; dont think she ever made it).

-LESSON: dont waste time in Ladiez Room; change your stockings @ the gate-

so 8 hours later im in america, and everything is fine; i get through security, get my boarding pass, etc. i even have time to get some coffee and buy a magazine! 

so im sitting @ my gate, drinking coffee and learning "How To Please a Man in Under 30 Seconds" when i hear the Airport Lady telling us to board.
and only then do i look 4 my boarding pass.
and only then do i see that ive LOST IT!
so i take out EVERYTHING in my purse and carry-on, including the embarrassing stuff like my Tampax, Vagisil, Rogain, etc. its all on the floor and im digging through it, yelling "PLZ WAIT 4 ME! ITS IN HERE SOMEWHERE!" probably looked like a "crazy person."

anyway i dont find it so i go to the lady @ the desk and i beg her to make an exception 4 me; that i PROMISE i had the boarding pass just a minute ago and that she can check my info on the computerz or w/e. (@ this point every1 is waiting 4 me on the plane AGAIN). so the lady actually lets me on the plane, thank god, and you wont believe what i saw the MOMENT i sat in the plane and opened my magazine: my boarding pass! --next to Katy Perry's stupid face in my stupid Cosmopolitan.

-LESSON: don't buy Cosmo-

SPEAKING of reading materials, i actually read a rly good book on my way here: "The Dreamers" by Gilbert Adair

this is a beautiful coming-of-age story we can all relate to: a tale of friendship, love, incest and death. (made me sad; wish i had a brother). i think the point of this book was to tell us that everyone should love everyone "no matter what." 

also, according 2 my "google images search" its now a movie? why didnt i know abt this?

holey shit





1 comment:

  1. tea.
    that article is posing fiction as truth. Under 30 Seconds=6 minutes in actuality for #3. Trust me.

    Katy Perry has it out for all of us.

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