Monday, July 13, 2009

Nun ya bisness

im a "self-improvement" kind of girl-always trying to be a "chicer person."

sometimes the only way to figure out what's chic is to figure out what's cliche and do the opposite. today i was thinking, and realized that the only way to be as chic as possible is to avoid the Worlds Biggest Cliche:

SEX.
isn't it obvious?
EVERYONE does it. sex is more cliche than CHILDBIRTH.

not only that, but sex sucks in general. for example, to "do sex" you have to take off your clothes, and when you're wearing a great outfit (every day) thats the last thing you want to do. (plus it always ruins your hair/makeup).

before:after:GROSS!!!


like, what was the point of "getting ready?" you may as well stay home & watch Beaches & eat ice cream and cry and fight with your mom via the phone and regret your entire adolescence or whatever.
most importantly, sex usually involves "talking 2 boys" which we all know is f'ing horrible.
so. this is what im thinking. if sex is the Ultimate Cliche, Celibacy is therefore the Ultimate Chicness. and if Celibacy is the Ultimate Chicness, what is the Worlds Chicest Job? Nunning.
im surprised its taken me so long 2 figure this out. aside from chillin w/ "jesus" bro, im destined to be a Nun. i always wear black, i hate kids and i leeerrved Sister Act.
cant wait 2 join my Nun thing. think it will be like America's Next Top Model. can't wait 2 meet Tyra and "bond" w/the girls. can't wait to "form cliques" and "stab each other in the backs." can't wait to go to the "confessional" and tell the camera guy all my "secrets." can't wait to blog abt my adventures. do Nuns get wireless?

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