Tuesday, September 8, 2009

be all u can be

living in Milan has only lead me to one conclusion: 

it is the least chic place in the world. 

there's nowhere to go and nothing to do and everyone here is cliche. all i do is drink tavernello and have photo shoots with Matt. (yawn).

we desperately need to move but we have nowhere to go!  we wanted to go to Siberia but the clothing's too bulky.

we wanted to go to Romania but vampires are cliche.

we hate London. we hate Paris. we obviously can't go back to America. we need to go somewhere people will "get us" -- where our brilliance can be "appreciated." thats why i think we should Join The Army. 

if we joined the army we could travel the world for free. in addition to that:

1- the uniforms are chic.

2- the boys are starving and desperate aka "our type."


3- we'd be starving and desperate aka "ourselves."

4- everyone would "miss us" and "feel sorry for us" and "write us letters."

5- we would NEVER have to see another H&M or ZARA again.

what is this, JCPenny?

6- we would NEVER have to go to some stupid cliche club again.

the clubs in Iraq are authentic.

7- we would NEVER have to ride the metro or call a taxi again. 

8- most importantly, we would probably die and as Matt has famously said, "whats the point of being alive when you can be dead?" 

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