Monday, October 26, 2009

a christmas story

these are "hard times" for everyone, but especially for me.

i recently found out i can't go back to America for Christmas. (or My Birthday or New Years Eve). i will be Alone. in Milan. for the Holidays. 

ive always hated Xmas so im not that upset about not having a Tree, Presents, Family or Friends on that day--

in fact i'm looking forward to locking myself up in my little apartment, watching local television and sobbing into a pillow.

ive realized that it may in fact be better to spend My Birthday (December 20th), Xmas (December 25th) and New Years Eve (December 31st/January 1st) alone:

1) ill starve.
the worst part about the Holidays is all the Fing Food! being alone will mean not being exposed to all the cookies and cakes my Mom Bakes With Love 

or the eggnog i buy myself at Walgreens. 

not only that, but because stores are hardly ever open in italy i know for sure they wont be open during the Holidays which means i wont be able to eat anything. so while you suckers put on the "holiday bulk" ill be looking as sickly as ever.

2) ill save money.
being alone for the holidays means not having to buy people presents. (win).

3) ill catch up on schoolwork.
by watching tv.

4) ill have quality time.
with myself.

no, it's not Xmas im sad about--its America. i really Miss America.

"I miss America. ever heard of "Miss America?" it's us, literally." -Matt Sabato

i miss Goldfish Snacks, 

Velveeta Cheese 

and Kid Cuisine.

i miss 40s.

i miss Being Free. 

my mom said i can go to Croatia for Xmas.
like, if i wanted clinical depression i'd watch A Walk To Remember.

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