Wednesday, October 21, 2009

drastic times

living in Milan aka Gay Capitol Of The World can really get a girl down. (not in the good way).

=
here are some tips on how to meet guys in those [desperate] months leading up to the next Mens Fashion Week:

1) use public transportation.
this is the best way to meet guys because the hottest guys are poor.

the other day i was riding home on Tram 9 and there was this adorable boy sitting across from me with a PUPPY IN HIS LAP (!)

we made eye contact for like, 15 minutes so i was sure he was "the one." then all of a sudden like, 50 people got on the tram, stood between me and the LOML (Love Of My Life) and when they got off he was gone!!!! :-(

i was sad at first but then i realized that i shouldnt expect any guy on Tram 9 (safest, lamest tram in Milan) to sit next to me/follow me home. i realized if i want to meet "aggressive" guys i need to start taking Bus 91 which is notorious for being "Milans Most Dangerous Bus" via girls getting harassed on it. welcome to my new dating service.

2) hang out in the bathroom.
i only go to clubs for the bathrooms. thats where all the "shit goes down." (LOL). plus youll be near a mirror at all times.

bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom.
bathroom!!!!
bathroom :-)

3) be open-minded.
dont limit yourself to a 'type.' just because Pete Doherty is my Ideal Man doesnt mean i should only peruse sickly drug addicts.

there are sooo many other types to choose from...



and "beggars cant be choosers"-William Shakespeare.

4) join a cult.
this past Monday i saw some cute guys passing out flyers about Marxism in front of my school.

when they approached me i told them that i "looooove communism" and willingly gave them my name and number. i was hoping THEY would call me but instead some stupid woman kept calling and asking when i can "come to a meeting." . . .

ive been blowing her off and thought she had "gotten the hint" but last night she sent me a message telling me that its "ok if i cant come to a meeting" because they can just "wait outside for me after class next week" because they "already know my schedule." (!!!!)
(thats normal, right)?

anyway at first i was worried about accidentally [willingly] joining some kind of cult but i figured, hey, if those guys are there its worth it, right?

because if theres one thing ive learned here its that sometimes "drastic times call for drastic measures" -Albert Einstein.

1 comment:

  1. r kelly and that amazing picture of him totally made this post for me

    ReplyDelete