Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Emotional Night Stands

So I guess I'm going to America on Friday.


i am america.


i miss america.


i ate america.



i hate america.


Here's what I'm looking forward to:

1) Crying on the airplane. 


"I always cry on airplanes. Even if it's just a 30 minute trip down the street." -Gea


There is NOTHING CHICER than crying on airplanes. Period.

2) New Clothes.
Via Guilt Tripping My Mom into buying me a new wardrobe via me showing up wearing just my pajamas.

new coats,


parisian hunchback chic.


commie chic.


i-wrote-about-this-coat-last-summer-and-STILL-want-it-chic.


Post-Modernism [Via Post-Modernism being Neo-Classicism] chic

pants,


leggings are pants are leggings are pants are leggings are pants are leggings 

dresses,





like,


whatever.


SHOES,





etc.


(fashion icon)


3) American Boys.




Because Italian Men Suck. 


"You know how you think Italian Guys should follow you home when they think you're hot? They never do that! It's just a myth." -Gea


In addition to being boring Italian men are also bastards.

"American Men have One-Night-Stands....Italian Men have Relationship-Night-Stands...It's like Emotional Masturbation." -Gea


Italian Men don't just try to "hurt your feelings" via "using you physically" but they try to "hurt you emotionally" as well. 

(Good thing I've never experienced this via Not Having Emotions).

4) Movies.
Italians get Movies 5-10 years later than Americans. And they're always dubbed in Dutch or something. I can't wait to go to a REAL AMERICAN MOVIE THEATRE, 



buy "Snacks,"




and watch a QUALITY FILM in ENGLISH.


5) THRIFT STORES.



Because the only "bargains" you can get in Milan are via Shoplifting. 

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