Wednesday, December 30, 2009

FUN 101

New Years Eve is tomorrow and yall know what that means.
The pressure to HAVE FUN.

New Years Eve is the "Biggest Party Of The Year" next to my Birthday so people always expect to have a "TON of FUN."

The problem is they usually don't and Here's Why:

Because New Years Eve is such a BIG NIGHT people have HUGE EXPECTATIONS for it. And whenever someone has HUGE EXPECTATIONS for something (vacations, shoes, boyfriends) they're always disappointed. If a boy can Let You Down by "moving back in with his Ex-Girlfriend" a New Years Eve party can just as easily Let You Down by "being totally LAME."

This New Years Eve I'm DETERMINED to have a great time and that's why I've devised a list of "Tricks" to ensure I'm gonna have fun NO MATTER WHAT.


1) Dress to Kill.

Looking Hot will make other people at the party jealous and there's nothing more fun than that.

2) Set a Goal For the Night.
Having goals gives things a "Purpose." For example, the goal of "having money" gives a purpose to "having a job" or "being nice to your parents".

By setting goals for a party, you'll give it a purpose and you'll Have Fun via Working Towards These Goals. (Note: for this to work the goals themselves have to be fun). EXAMPLES:

Goal: Break in your new shoes.

Goal: Rearrange the Host's silverware/furniture. (This only applies to HAUS PARTIES).

Goal: Steal something expensive.

Goal: Convince your Ex-Boyfriend you're dating someone MUCH TALLER than him.

Goal: Convince your Ex-Boyfriend's Current Girlfriend that her Boyfriend "has an STD."

Goal: Kiss your Ex-Boyfriend in the bathroom. 

Goal: Lock your Ex-Boyfriend out of the bathroom.

Goal: Remain alone in bathroom (with bottle of Champagne). Press ear against bathroom door and listen to what's going on outside.

3) LIE.
Most people are HELLA boring so having to "talk" to them at a party can totally ruin your buzz. The only way to "spice up" Boring Party Conversations is via Lying Your Pants Off.

Lie: "I'm from Siberia." 

This is a good way to "get guys" because they LOVE "exotic" women.

Lie: "I work for Karl Lagerfeld."

This is a good way to Impress Europeans. Americans don't know who Karl Lagerfeld is so tell them you work for Wal-Mart.

Lie: "My Friend/Relative/Boyfriend/Dog has a Terminal Illness."

This is a good way to get sympathy and more alcohol!

3) Turn the Party into a Competition.
Competition is fun (via games, sports, etc). So turn your NYE party into a competition. 

Competition ideas: 

Who can Kiss the most Boyfriends (of other girls).

Who can go the longest without "breaking the seal" (via peeing).

Who can convince more people of more lies about themselves.

Who can "Burn the most bridges" (lose the most friends).

Note: Solo Competitions (Competitions With Yourself) also count.


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