Tuesday, June 30, 2009

dimestore diamond

hey so today i bought the new Gossip album, "Music for Men," and im really inspired by the first song, "Dimestore Diamond." it's about a girl who looks fabulous even though she buys really cheap things and cuts her own hair (my life). i love this song.

i think this song is really appropriate now that we're all in an "economic crisis."

i feel bad for people being affected by the economic crisis. i feel i can really "relate 2 them" because ive been in a self-enduced economic crisis for almost a year now, so i think ive gotten pretty good at conserving my money. (the money i have left after shoez).

for those of you "struggling" w/money and trying to stay chic here are some tips:

1. buy cheap lipstick. it's just as good as pricey lipstick, if not more so. cheaper brands make better (trashier) shades! like, Chanel wouldn't have the guts (or creativity) 2 create a shade called "Kool-Aid Glamour," you know? plus ive gotten more compliments on my Revlon lipstick than my Chanel lipstick. true story.

also, be sure to make the most of your lipstick!

red/pink lipstick can also be used as blush.


beige lipstick can work as a concealer/bronzer.

other colors, like purple, black, or brown, for example, can be used as eyeshadow.

2. replace expensive moisturizer and/or makeup remover w/baby oil.


3. for those of you in italy, shop at Upim. it has amazing prices and great styles. like, this week i got two leotards and a cardigan for 30 euros. who cares if they come w/rats?
"Upim, i did it again." -Matt Sabato

4. stop. buying. food.


5.
only drink instant coffee (super cheap, super delicious). and if you want to be really chic, keep old Starbucks cups @ home and fill them up every morning w/your instant coffee. (if Mary Kate were a regular person, affected by the economy, she would do that for sure).


6.
keep your torn stockings!!! ive spent so much money on stockings i dont even want to think about it. (like when recovered addicts talk about all the houses/cars they could have bought had they not spent all their money on crack). for years i was replacing my torn stockings w/new ones. then i realized that A, ripped stockings are totally chic and B, they're especially chic during the summer (ventilation). once i stopped replacing my ripped stockings i had 90% more money.


7.
drink Tavernello. it's like 1 euro and so strong you'll forget what "economic" and "crisis" even mean.


8.
drink only Tavernello. from now on. and bring it 2 the club. if you still want to look "rich" you can drink it in the bathroom and people will think you got drunk off of Vodka Redbulls. if you're REALLY chic, though, you'll drink your Tavernello on the dancefloor. what, everyone's staring @ you? it's bc you're fabulous! and they are jealous.



9.
cut your own hair. it's easy; ive been doing it for almost a decade now. don't worry about doing a "good job." everyone knows that ugly hair is way chicer than pretty hair.



if you are absolutely unable to do it yourself, get your most beautiful, most homosexual friend to do it for you.

10. date a rich person

miss u, britney & k

Friday, June 26, 2009

grease the pain away

wow guys.
after a long week of model bros and returning to my "job" i am EXHAUSTED.
all i want is for someone to clean my apt for me, "cook me dinner," (boiled water & diet coke), and nip/tuck me into bed...

unfortunately that ain't happening, (alone again), so i thought i'd tell you guys some very important stuff: recently i have rediscovered a product so perfect, so useful and SO cheap, i couldn't keep it from you.
BABY OIL.
it's amazing, you guys. the uses are endless:

1. use it as a make-up remover. (just put some on a cotton ball and wipe away)! its more effective and gentler than any expensive "make-up remover" ive tried.
2. use it as your shampoo, conditioner, and/or "styling product" for a chic greasy look.
3. cook w/it. your food will taste bad so you'll eat less.
4. use it as a moisturizer! why do you think babies have such soft skin...? it's especially great when you have a "hot date." before you meet, COVER your body in baby oil (it needs to be coming through your clothes). you'll look greasy aka sexy, which will make your date wanna "do it" w/you.
5. run out of Chanel no. 5? no problem! buy a spray-bottle of baby oil and use as perfume. (cheaper and chicer)
6. wash your dishes w/it. shit will slide right off.
7. shine your shoes w/it! (unpolished shoes=end of civilization).
8. use it to H8 CRIME someone!!! pick a person you h8 and sneak into their apt/house and spread baby oil all over their bathroom/kitchen floor so they slip and fall ;)
9. boys: use it as shaving cream AND after shave; if your FACE smells like a BABY, do you think girls will be able to resist kissing it? (i heard all girls have "crazy" hormones that make them want babies so this is a sure thing).
10. if one of yall has a babie i think you can rub this on its butt after it poops.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Backstage Les Hommes

hey yall
good day yesterday
worked backstage for the S/S 2010 Les Hommes Fashion show; amazing collection & amazing boys

model bros

just "hanging out"

just "smokin cigs"




just "rehearsing"









this collection is so brilliant.
i think the colors bring out the desperation in their eyes.
what to yall think?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

in & out

hey yall if you want to be "cool" this summer here's what you need to know:

1. OUT: FAKE GLASSES
IN: "FAKE" GLASSES (real glasses pretending to be fake glasses)
2. OUT: EDWARD
IN: BILL
3. OUT: REHAB
IN: DEATH (the cool way to quit drugs)
4. OUT: "NEW AGE"
IN: OLD AGE (old bros have seen the original "subcultures")
5. OUT: RACIAL AMBIGUITY
IN: SPECIES AMBIGUITY
6. OUT: ANDROGYNY
IN: SEX CHANGES (short hair & flat chests don't cut it anymore)
7. OUT: PETE DOHERTYIN: PETE DOHERTY (the boy version of Chanel No. 5: timeless)
8. OUT: LADY GAGA
IN: LADY GAGA REMIXES
9. OUT: ORGANIC FOOD
IN: NO FOOD (nothing's more organic than nothing)
10. OUT: ASYMMETRICAL HAIRIN: ASYMMETRICAL FACES
11. OUT: IRONY
IN: "IRONY"
12. OUT: BABIES
IN: SCABIES (really "alt" problem)
13. OUT: BLACK IN: BLACK

what else is "in" or "out" this summer?
what's "cool" in america? (feel so out of touch).
need your help.