OMG Yall--IM BAAACK!!!!!!
Back from my Showroom-Induced-Hiatus, back from preparing for exams,
back from replacing "Food & Sleep" with "Midol & Red Bull."
I'm Back Like Britney
and I'm better than ever--I have a new haircut and everything!
But before I start I've just got to say something:
I'm SORRY, yall. I'm sorry I left you "in the dark." I'm sorry I didn't blog about the Grammy's.
~who is this~
I'm sorry and I promise I'll never leave yall again--that's really a PROMISE and it's a gift from me--a gift from me to yall and just in time---for everyone's FAVORITE HOLIDAY!!!!
(that was good right? the way i "tied that in")
I LOVE Valentine's Day because its the only holiday that stresses the Importance of being Popular and Loved.
Valentines Day is good for Society because it makes ~90% of the population feel "insecure" and "lonely," which is good for our Caste System and general Morale. It's also a very complex holiday--it's meaning changes depending on what Stage Of Life you're in! For example:
1) Valentine's Day Via Children (USA) = UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
American Schools are strange because they always promote "equality"-even when it isn't necessary (usually). So on Valentine's Day American Elementary Schools FORCE children to give everyone in their class a card--even to the poor & unpopular kids!
This kind of behavior teaches children that "generosity & kindness" are more important than "exclusivity & popularity." This is typical American Idealistic B.S. only sets kids up for failure. (That's why I'll raise mine in Romania).
2) Valentine's Day Via Teenagers= COMPETITION
Teenagers turn Valentine's Day into a Popularity Contest--especially at school. It's an opportunity to show everybody (via presents/candy/"giving it up") who is (and isn't) "Cool" and who is (and isn't) "A Virgin."
It's a great way to see which girls are Desired (physically & socially) and therefore who you should try to be friends with.
3) Valentine's Day Via Women (20s+)= DELUSION
For "Grown" Women Valentine's Day means having a [Successful] Boyfriend take them to a [Nice] Restaurant in his [Expensive] Car and buy them a [Diamond] Ring and Ask Them To Marry Them.
(Always answer Marriage Proposals with "NO" because that way you can get one every year).
4) Valentine's Day Via Single Women= DESPERATION
For Single Women Valentine's Day is a time to reflect on why they Aren't Good Enough to have a Boyfriend.
It's also a good excuse for Single Girls to get together with their Single (Ugly) Girlfriends and have a "Girls Night Out" and talk about the "Perks Of Being Single" while envying all the couples around them and later crying themselves to sleep.
5) Valentine's Day Via Married Women= REGRET
It means being reminded that you've Made The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life. (Especially when your 16 year-old daughter comes home with the new Prada Bag and all you got from your Husband was an Apron and a Suggestive Glance).
"what have i done?"
6) Valentine's Day Via Men= CONFUSION
Cuz yall are hella stupid.