Thursday, March 4, 2010

Getting Sprung

March is here and yall know what that means:


1) Re-Newing my Tram Pass. 


not wearing makeup have to cover my face

I tried to "fight the system" last month via not renewing it and got caught TWICE within two weeks! (Had to pay ~80 Euros! Do yall know how many American Apparel tights I could buy with that money)?!


holding my bill-worth 20 tights-very angry-only own this t-shirt

2) The Last Weeks of Showroom Season.


gonna miss yall :-(

3) SPRING!
AKA:


-Going out without stockings/underwear.


-Wearing sandals without getting frostbite.


omg<3

-Drinking Diet Coke-OUTSIDE.


I adore this season and I'm SO excited to tell yall WHAT TO WEAR SPRING 2010:

1) Sunglasses.


This only applies to people NOT living in Milan.
We don't wear sunglasses here via Milan not getting sunlight via it being Europe's Most Polluted City. 


(I'm not kidding; look it up). 

For those of you in other parts of the world, I suggest these:


or anything that makes your face look skinnier.

2) Knee Pads.
I don't mean this Fashion-y Bullshit:

sorry Acne; not this time

I mean REAL Knee Pads:


They're surprisingly flattering via making the rest of your leg look thinner and they're also VERY practical, as I have learned today--LISTEN TO MY STORY:

Picture this: It's ~17:00 hours. I'm commuting from Work to School. It's Raining via SPRING SHOWERS. The cobblestone street I'm strutting down is getting slippery. I'm dry via the Umbrella I Stole From The Showroom,


but my Platform Heels are worrying me via Having No Traction. I'm praying to Lady Gaga to keep my balance...then I see some cute boys walking towards me. 


I make eye contact. I'm feeling good. I look hot and confident. I've "got this in the bag." 


---I SLIP AND FALL--- 


They walk past me. I am abandoned; helpless; alone. I can hear them laughing. Bastards.


I kill myself.

Maybe my shame could not be avoided but at least the bruises on my knees could.


3) A Paper Bag.
Over your head.


For obvious reasons.

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