Saturday, April 10, 2010

Apocalypse Now

I visit America for two reasons:

1) Midol



2) My Mother



My Mother is really smart and always gives me Good Advice. Like when she said I need to "change my taste in people" because I "attract the biggest losers in the world, no matter where [I] go." 


true 

Today My Mother told me about Volcanoes and Tidal Waves 


(she's a Scientist) 

and that the world will probably end soon, via "Deep Impact," 


featuring Tea Leoni. 


should I go blonde via same name?

Talking about "Natural Disasters" with My Mother brought up a lot of questions.

Like: 

1) How will yall Evacuate?


I'll have private jets by then (fly me the hell outa here) but what will the rest of yall do?

2) What will yall "salvage?"
Your IPad?

 
"Drugs?" 


Family?


What's Important To You?

3) What will we wear?


The Major Fashion Cities will be Destroyed via being by the coast. So All-Things-Fashion will Drastically Change. Like, what will happen to American Apparel, via being made in Natural Disaster Center of the World aka California? 


Will leggings be a Thing of the Past?


4) Will Lady Gaga keep Touring?


I just dropped $130 on "Dancefloor Seats," don't let me down now, GG.

5) WHO WILL YALL TWEET AT?
Who will Really Matter when you think it's All Over? (ME) Will you send Direct Messages to people or just tweet at all of your followers via not being able to choose between all your Twitter Girlfriends/Boyfriends?


What will the trending topics be?

#mydeadfriends
#waterdamage
#underrubble
#mylasttweet

And if someone TwitPics a building drowning in the middle of a city and nobody is able to get online to see it, will yall still read my blog?


PS- Do yall remember the 1999/2000 Mtv New Years Show when Gwen Stefani covered that "its the end of the world as we know it--and i feel fine" song and she was wearing braces at the time so she cut the hell out of her lips?

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