Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Day At The Beach

The Smells of Public Transportation 


are telling me "Summer's Finally Here."


And we all know what that means, right?


Finding a new Bathing Suit.


Yes, Girls, the Most Feared Event of the Year- one that inspires that particular kind of Self-Loathing caused by Unflattering Fabric, Full-Length Mirrors and [hideous] Dressing Room Lighting.


As always, I am Here To Help and though I can't make you lose those "Last Few Pounds,"


I can give you some Pointers:

SUMMER 2010 SWIMWEAR SHOPPING SURVIVAL GUIDE:


1) Bring Tissues.


Trust me. 


You're gonna cry.

2) Cancel Plans.


After trying on Bathing Suits you'll be feeling [extra] Self-Destructive. Unless you want to do things you'll REALLY regret I'd suggest just going home. 


3) Follow Your Phobias.
DONT try styles you know you won't look good in-you're afraid of them for a REASON.


Remember: "What you don't see can't hurt you." AKA "What you don't try on can't make you hate yourself."


When In Doubt, go with "Classic."


It looks good on everyone.

4) Pick the Right Day.
DONT try on Swimwear when youre:


This leaves you with ~2 good days so Plan your time Accordingly.

5) Bring a Friend.
A Less-Pretty one.


This way you'll look at them and think "OK. It could be worse."

6) Bring a Camera.


Mirrors are deceiving and I personally don't trust them.

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