Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Q&A

Last Night I did sort of a Blog Q&A via Facebook


According to yall's responses, these are the Main Concerns for Summer 2010:

1) Getting Skinny


This is always an issue, 


but especially before Summer.


via Bikinis.





Crash Diets are the best diets because they are extremely effective [unhealthy]. 

I suggest one or all of the following:

1) The Winehaus Diet


Have a glass of wine for every meal. Yes, wine is high in calories but you'll probably throw it all up anyway.


2) The BB Diet


Remember that thing she did to lose weight for Dreamgirls?


It was a "Master Cleanse" mix of vinegar, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. 


Sounds totally gross and totally effective!


3) The Gaga Diet


Obtain your Nutrition via Mac Lipstick, 


Hairspray


and Poison.


You'll be Beach Ready in no time ;) 


2) Raising Hemlines


Fashion Magazines and Blogs keep pushing this "Maxi Dress" idea which I think is Absurd.


Long Dresses make everyone look like a Hippy and/or Fat. 


Stay Away from them if you know what's good for you.


Here's how to know your Hem is High Enough this summer:


1) The Bending Test


You shouldn't be able to bend over in public without Causing a Scene via Car Accidents, Fainting, etc.

2) The Underwear Test


If your skirt can cover a pair of "Boy Short" undies you're at least a few inches over.

3) The Tag Test


Stand in front of a Full-Length mirror. 


You should be able to see the tag in the back of your skirt while looking at yourself from the front.


Follow these rules to stay chic all summer and "make the world your Gynecologist."


-Patsy Stone

3) Wearing White


White is only for Brides and Coke Dealers.


Lets try and keep it that way.

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