Diet "On The Rocks"

In preperation for Men's Fashion week, I'm trying to Slim Down.

I wore Last Year's Bathing Suit to school today just to remind myself to stay away from the Cafeteria.

I need some results and I need them FAST- so I've created a Plan:

The Summer 2010 Cocktail Crash Diet:

When dieting it's important to respect all Food Groups. 

That's why I've compiled a comprehensive list of Cocktails to Replace Each One. (Except for Meat. Obviously).

1) "Grains" = Manhattan 

Whiskey (Grain Alcohol), Sweet Vermouth, Bitters and a Cherry.

This drink says "sophistication" but is also says Carbs. Dont overdo it.

2) "Vegetables" = Bloody Mary

.

Vodka, Tomato Juice, Lemon Juice, Salt and Pepper.

Add TOBASCO Sauce for some extra spice-it will "upset your bowels" and "speed up your metabolism" ;-)

3) "Fruits" = Sex on the Beach

Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Cranberry Juice and Orange Juice.

Male Readers should never drink this or at least not in public. (Do I have Male Readers).

4) "Dairy" = White Russian

Vodka, Coffee Liquor, (Light) Cream.

This is full of calories so after one of these you should Call It A Day. 

5) "Fats, Oils and Sweets" = Vodka RedBull

A Lindsay Lohan Favorite; how do you think she stays so thin?