Sunday, August 1, 2010

Love in the Time of Moving Vans

I went to DC with my parents this weekend. We're helping my sister move.

I've spent most of my time at Starbucks. 

day 1

day 2

day 3

Yesterday my family confronted me about "not doing shit" and asked me to "help them." So I took a nap in the Moving Van.

I was hella bored in that van, just watching my family carry things around. I was ready to go to another Starbucks when something caught my eye... 

I'm easily Distracted By the Opposite Sex 

especially when they're as hot as this guy; I won't try to describe him. He's a Dreamboat. He walks by and I practically start drooling. 

As he walks by me, we make eye contact. 

I smile, he smiles. 

He stops. 

I smile. 

He smiles. 

He starts walking away. 

I start to get up and decide not to. 

He starts to stop and decides not to. 

He walks away. 

I sit back down. 

He doesn't turn around. 


I dream of him all night. 

Today after my first Starbucks I go the nearest "Drug Store" 

to buy some new Nail Polish. 

(Revlon Red 680)

I browse the aisles and try on some lipstick. Flip through US Weekly. Steal some Tampons; The usual Drug Store Routine

I get bored and walk to the checkout counter. 
And then, I see Him.

My Moving Van Missed-Connection! He works at the Drug Store!

He recognizes me and smiles. 

He says, "Hey."

I say, "Hey."

It's Magic. We're In Love.

I picture our First Date. 

He will take me to see a Foreign Art Film and will buy me Diet Coke. His apartment will be minimal, chic and full of magazines. 

We will have long conversations and tons of Sexual Chemistry. 

We'll look good together in photos.

I start thinking about moving to DC; do they have fashion here? Will my shoes fit in his apartment? Does he want kids? Team Morris or Rollins???

He rings up my purchase (thank GOD I didn't buy food) and hands me my bag. I'm ready for him to ask me out. Instead he looks behind me. 

"Next in line?"

My heart is breaking.

"Miss? Next in Line?" 

I move away. Tears in my eyes, my heart in my stomach; feel like vomiting. 


I die. 

I walk out of the Drug Store and never look back.

I guess he's Gay.

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