Sunday, September 19, 2010

the party nomads

So I haven't posted anything in a while via this being the Busiest Month of My Life. I've missed yall, but I have to say that between Studying, DJingPR-ing [livin the life] I've learned quite a lot:

1) How to Cry on cue for professors.

When the BS-ing doesn't work, always go for Sympathy.
(Think of having your period during Mens Fashion Week; brings the tears every time).

2) How to Mix Soulja Boy with Gaga.

"Hopped up out the bed, turned my Swag on, took a loook in the mirror, said Beautiful Dirty Dirty Rich Rich Dirty Dirty Beautiful Dirty Said Wassup?"

3) How to Be "Nomadic Chic"

Let me explain. (Yall have been there):

You think you're just going out for Dinner & Drinks but after a few "glasses of wine," get pressured into going to some party (I heard the DJ's finally single!)

You promise yourself you'll leave early (I must work tomorrow!) but the next morning somehow find yourself in someone else's haus (where'd they go?).

Realizing you're late, (my alarm didn't go off!) you start running to work in Last Nights Outfit (I'll just keep my coat on all day nobody will notice the mesh) and heels only meant for sitting (they were so comfortable in the store!)

You make it through work (boss made a crack about me smelling like a liquor store; said it's just the New Chanel),

but now must attend a Cocktail Party (its very important and they'll be giving out free samples!)

Via the Wonders of Public Transportation you have no time to first go home and change (I hate tram 9!) and are forced to go out in the Same Thing you partied, slept and worked in (I'll turn my shirt inside out and it'll look totally different). You're exhausted and didn't have time to eat (at least one thing I've done right today) so the mini-cocktails take their toll.

The next morning you find yourself waking up on yet another sofa (Taxis in Milan are so expensive!) and wonder if you've got time to stop by H&M before work and hope to Gaga whoever's haus you're in is near a metro stop (anything but bus 90).

It doesn't have to be like this. With the right preparation, you can turn "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" 

into "Sex and the City."

(Mislav Modronja, pay attention):

1) "The Emporor's New Clothes"
Bring Extra Outfits.

Your bag will be heavy but it's worth it. Stockings always rip, drinks usually spill and Last Nights Sparkly Lame' never goes over too well in The Office. Be prepared and save yourself some trouble (and maybe even a friend).

2) "The Best things Come in Small Packages"
Carrying all your cosmetics around can be hazardous ; lipstick is lost, perfume spilled, mirrors broken. Your 50 euro anti-wrinkle cream can spill all over your money, deeming it useless! (They don't accept soggy bills, even if they look 10 years younger).

So what's a girl to do when she starts getting sick of using Last Nights Mascara as Today's Eye Shadow (moisten, smear, repeat) and washing her face with Shampoo? (Some people dont buy soap)!

Get a bunch of "travel sized" cosmetics to bring with you anywhere you go; you can buy them or just steal them from magazines (little pockets of foundation, cream, perfume, etc):

just stock up at your nearest newsstand, hit the town & never again be caught like this:

3) "Better Safe Than Sorry"

Invest in Pharmaceuticals. Pain Killers, Caffeine Pills, Tampons.

Because a slept-in-dress is one thing. A stained one is another.

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