This is something I have a problem with-I have a great fear of "letting people down" and refusing anything to anyone-this is why I'm usually seen as very "Responsible" & "Reliable" [a pushover] in work & social situations (always on time, will hold your hair back when you puke).
As long as I'm answering to someone else I'm golden.
The problem is when I answer to myself:
I describe myself as "Carefree & Fun" but I really mean "Self-Destructive."
As long as I'm only harming myself I'll go as far as it takes for a "good time"
But this afternoon when I arrived home with a broken cell phone,
in a training bra & shorts [covered in other people's vodka]
& saw 20 new wrinkles upon looking in the mirror,
I decided to "take it easy" and stay in (Saturday Night and I don't have work tomorrow) in hopes of "feeling better" (did I even feel bad)?
Now I only feel anxious without a bass vibrating me to the point of nausea. I want someone to be yelling into my ear the same idiotic things 100 times and I want to be exhausted to the point of calling my parents to tell them I love them because This Might Be It.
I feel I'm not spending my time wisely (I WONT BE 22 FOREVER) and I'm letting down my friends (Lady Gaga).
It's not called "Just Sleep" for a reason.