Wednesday, September 29, 2010

a night in Paris

My Russian Princess Yulia recently moved to Paris and Ill never forgive her.



But I'm visiting her on Saturday. 

Problem is I'm not ready; I hear French women are major and unless I want to come back with an eating disorder and severe case of depression worse than what I've got now I've got to do some Preparation.


INTO THE BATTLEFIELD: P.A.R.I.S EDITION

P: Planning
I'm not eating till I get there



A: Accent
Gotta learn how to say "take me to the bathroom" without sounding Sicilian. 


R: Research
You've gotta know about the "Culture" of a place before going there.
I've already done some research. He's French.


I: Ignore
Not thinking about missing class it's not like I'm coming back anyway. 


S:  Shop
Of course I'll spend all my money on clothes the first like ten minutes there but I've also gotta look good coming out of the plane unless I want to get Hate-Crimed. 


Think Zara has this?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

when I feel down I want you on Top

My roommate just sent me this via facebook message from across our little loft.

(We're very modern).

She should be working and I should be sleeping.

Now I think I wont sleep for days.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Fashion Week, in Retrospect

Main Points:

1) White Trash Comeback
I went to Frankie Morello (thanks Natasha) and was overwhelmed by Trailer Parks, Courtney Love & Week-Old Makeup. 




It was fabulous.






2) Less is Less
After playing the morning set at the Dolce & Gabbana SPIGA2 opening event I learned that you shouldn't play Peaches "F*ck the Pain Away" at 10 am. It makes the Press anxious.



oops

3) Back to Basics
The SPIGA2 store is a hit because it has 4 fundamental things that everyone needs:
Shoes, (flattering) Mirrors, a Bar & Smoking Area.




Smoking Area featuring the Fabulous Natasha Slater, Jethro Cave & Co.



What else do you need?


Watch closely at 0:15 ;)

4) Good Manners
After DJing/Doing door selection at the Givenchy Perfume Launch party, all I had to do was ask nicely (BEG on my hands & knees) and they gave me a free perfume! It's a bit too sweet for my taste, but the packaging is killer.





5) Judge by the Cover
Doing door selection for PWP "Femme Fatale" confirmed an idea I've had all my life:
Pretty people are nicer and deserve better treatment.









6) Pack Lightly
Afterparties are fun, but they're more fun without a suitcase full of cds.



Sunday, September 19, 2010

the party nomads

So I haven't posted anything in a while via this being the Busiest Month of My Life. I've missed yall, but I have to say that between Studying, DJingPR-ing [livin the life] I've learned quite a lot:

1) How to Cry on cue for professors.




When the BS-ing doesn't work, always go for Sympathy.
(Think of having your period during Mens Fashion Week; brings the tears every time).

2) How to Mix Soulja Boy with Gaga.




"Hopped up out the bed, turned my Swag on, took a loook in the mirror, said Beautiful Dirty Dirty Rich Rich Dirty Dirty Beautiful Dirty Said Wassup?"

3) How to Be "Nomadic Chic"




Let me explain. (Yall have been there):

You think you're just going out for Dinner & Drinks but after a few "glasses of wine," get pressured into going to some party (I heard the DJ's finally single!)

You promise yourself you'll leave early (I must work tomorrow!) but the next morning somehow find yourself in someone else's haus (where'd they go?).

Realizing you're late, (my alarm didn't go off!) you start running to work in Last Nights Outfit (I'll just keep my coat on all day nobody will notice the mesh) and heels only meant for sitting (they were so comfortable in the store!)

You make it through work (boss made a crack about me smelling like a liquor store; said it's just the New Chanel),


but now must attend a Cocktail Party (its very important and they'll be giving out free samples!)

Via the Wonders of Public Transportation you have no time to first go home and change (I hate tram 9!) and are forced to go out in the Same Thing you partied, slept and worked in (I'll turn my shirt inside out and it'll look totally different). You're exhausted and didn't have time to eat (at least one thing I've done right today) so the mini-cocktails take their toll.

The next morning you find yourself waking up on yet another sofa (Taxis in Milan are so expensive!) and wonder if you've got time to stop by H&M before work and hope to Gaga whoever's haus you're in is near a metro stop (anything but bus 90).

It doesn't have to be like this. With the right preparation, you can turn "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" 



into "Sex and the City."


(Mislav Modronja, pay attention):


1) "The Emporor's New Clothes"
Bring Extra Outfits.


Your bag will be heavy but it's worth it. Stockings always rip, drinks usually spill and Last Nights Sparkly Lame' never goes over too well in The Office. Be prepared and save yourself some trouble (and maybe even a friend).

2) "The Best things Come in Small Packages"
Carrying all your cosmetics around can be hazardous ; lipstick is lost, perfume spilled, mirrors broken. Your 50 euro anti-wrinkle cream can spill all over your money, deeming it useless! (They don't accept soggy bills, even if they look 10 years younger).


So what's a girl to do when she starts getting sick of using Last Nights Mascara as Today's Eye Shadow (moisten, smear, repeat) and washing her face with Shampoo? (Some people dont buy soap)!


Get a bunch of "travel sized" cosmetics to bring with you anywhere you go; you can buy them or just steal them from magazines (little pockets of foundation, cream, perfume, etc):



just stock up at your nearest newsstand, hit the town & never again be caught like this:



3) "Better Safe Than Sorry"




Invest in Pharmaceuticals. Pain Killers, Caffeine Pills, Tampons.


Because a slept-in-dress is one thing. A stained one is another.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

back to school[girl]

School is starting again and yall know what that means ~ School Girl Attire.


It's everyone's favorite and I'll show yall how to do it right:

CRUMPETS BACK TO SCHOOL[GIRL] GUIDE 2010:


1) Pleated Skirt


Think Sailor Moon pre-sex scandal.


Think American Apparel pre-economic crisis.


2) Knee Socks


Shin bruises & unshaved legs never looked so chic.

3) White shirt


Makes your outsides look clean when your insides are dirty.

4) Black Blazer


For Sophistication.

4) Pig Tails


I mean,


duh.



5) Accessories:

Backpack [shopping bags]


Text Books [magazines]


Calculator [cell phone] 


Writing utensils 

 
[makeup]



Have a great school year, yall! :-)