Friday, March 25, 2011

how stella got her heels back

Most of my life is a [dark] Comedy but every once in a while a Love Story happens; this one is a Tragedy.

Last Sunday I decided to rid myself of the pain of walking in flats (my body can't tell me what to do) and spend some hard cold cash on my first pair of Designer (non-H&M) Shoes.

For the first time in my life, I step inside La Rinascente knowing I won't be leaving with just eye cream samples and lipstick stains, like di solito.


I go up to the third floor, a place that once inspired depression so great I had to get gelato afterwards, aka The Shoe Department.


Here YSL pumps and Marc Jacobs sandals are friends, the employees Speak English and the customers are related to [are sleeping with] Berlusconi.

I walk in, take a deep breath, look across the room-and there they are.

The most beautiful patent leather black platforms I have ever seen-it was love at first "can I try these in 40?"


I decide that I need them.
That my existance before them was meaningless.
That without them I will be miserable and irrelevant.
And that They Need Me Too.

We go home as happy as a Just Married couple and have a Honeymoon on my living room floor.


We are In Love, Bliss, Heaven.

But all good things come to an end--
Two days later I learn that all relationships have problems; ours was in the Ankle Strap.


Somehow my darlings broke and I didn't even go dancing!

On my way to commit suicide (superglue them together), my friend stops me: "Why try to fix something thats broken? There are so many shoes out there, Tea-you deserve better than that."

She tells me I can return them for money back or another pair of shoes (I didn't know Italy was so civilized).

They give me a new pair; like my first ones but shinier; and I feel like a widow marrying her ex-husband's younger brother.

I leave feeling guilty-my First Love alone in that old box; who knows what his fate will be?

I take my new pair out, so I can "get to know him."


I'm more careful this time; I remember the mistakes from before; with him I'm extra gentle and understanding. I give him space and compliments, and never wear him out.

I start feeling better; I start to forget the pain of my first loss and focus on our future.

But two days later, he leaves me too.


This happened yesterday; I couldn't return them; I don't have the strength.

I don't want my money back and I don't want a different pair! I only want mine. Because I know we have problems but we can't live without each other and if we just try hard enough we can make it work. Right?



Now who has some superglue?



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