Sunday, April 17, 2011

fly with style [just not your own]

I am obsessed with airports.

I would live in one if I could and plan on becoming a Flight Attendant after I finish college.


Being surrounded by strangers you'll never see again gives you the power to become anybody you want. That's why choosing your travel outfit is more important than bringing your passport.

Obviously you must show skin, not only to catch the Pilot's attention but to ease your way through Security (they don't need to put you through an x-ray scanner if they can already see everything).


You should also try to look famous. My friend Matthew told me he was able to cut in front of the check-in line here because he looked kind of like the model on the cover of this magazine he was carrying. (Italians think all black people look alike).


Anyway, you've got to choose your image before any flight.

Are you a Professional Woman going on a business trip,


a Mail-Order Bride escaping her husband,


a War Criminal fleeing the law


or an Adulteress meeting her lover?


Whatever you choose, live it, love it and play it to the fullest.

Because when you land in North Carolina you're just another 23 year old loser who hasn't even finished school.

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