Tuesday, April 26, 2011

give her a pearl necklace

Today when I came home from walking my dogs aka hitting on the neighborhood teenagers

I found a package at my door.

It had my Mom's name on it so obviously I went ahead and opened it without her permission.

Inside I found a pearl necklace [insert cum joke] and realized it must be for me.

First of all, Thanks Mom.

Secondly, do girls still wear pearls?

Like, I know First Ladies do but what about 20something trashies who party too much, date criminals and/or married men and failed out of school? What about us?

Can we "pull them off" or will people think we're being "ironic" like when sexually promiscuous girls wear cardigans or aggressively heterosexual men [Frat Boys] wear shorts?

Should we only wear pearls on "Special Occasions" like Blind Dates with guys we met online or our first day of work at McDonalds?

Will people laugh at our attempt to be "taken more seriously" or will they applaud our newfound Class?

I'll let yall know.


  1. I would advice you to wear it only when you turn 60 years old and you ll be overwhelmed by memories of your mama. Pearls are for oldies-

  2. Go for it. The sexual undertones are undeniably entrancing.