Tuesday, April 26, 2011

jailbait

In honor of Christ I spent my Easter in Boone.


Boone is best known for ASU, Football, Mountains and Men.


Here guys destroy TVs for fun,



drink soda straight from the bottle,


eat whole chickens,


and aren't afraid of orange.


This Sunday I had the pleasure of seeing my dear friend Matt in Prison.

Matt and I have been dating on and off the past few years so seeing him Like This was "incredibly Romantic."

"Maybe for you, Tea, but not for me."


"Why, what's wrong?"


"You wanna switch?"


"Have you made friends?"


"Yeah-they call me DooLittle."


"Have you heard the new Lady Gaga song?"


"How could I?"


"If you call me later I'll play it for you."


I've decided that from now on I will only date prisoners.





WHY PRISONERS ARE BETTER BOYFRIENDS:


1) Appreciation
A Prisoner will never take you for granted.
You'll receive as much enthusiasm over one dirty letter as a Regular Boyfriend would show for a new Playstation (or an Italian Boyfriend would show for Prada).

2) Time
All meetings are on your terms. Never again will you be bullied into watching soccer or taken to dinner when he knows you're on a diet. Like this you come and go as you please and don't even need to shave!

3) Freedom
You can date other boys and he won't find out as long as they aren't in whatever gang he's had to join in the meantime.

4) Understanding
He will totally get how hard it is to be a girl after someone forces him to be their bitch. (No more arguments over why you should try it "in the butt.")

5) Excitement
The date of his release will give both of yall something to look forward to and when that happy day comes you can dump him for his cell mate.

2 comments:

  1. I never realized the benefits of dating someone in prison. This gives me a whole new perspective on life

    ReplyDelete
  2. all three of those guys are smokin hot. go boone!

    ReplyDelete