Thursday, April 14, 2011

nc fashion week

Hey yall its time for my annual "I can't wait to go back to America" post.


THINGS IM EXCITED ABOUT :


1) SELF-ESTEEM


Visiting North Carolina is like watching Oprah in that it's not something you'd brag about though it makes you feel better about yourself.

I'm looking forward to feeling:


a) Skinny



b) Special
All my old High School friends (didn't have any) are now Married and/or have totally depressing jobs in Real Estate.


I can't wait to make them feel jealous of my European Lifestyle aka empty superficial existence based entirely on looking at myself in the mirror and hitting on gays.

c) Chic
There you become Lady Gaga simply by avoiding Uggs.



2) COMFORT

Before I went to "Study abroad in Italy" my University had given me a pamphlet describing how uncomfortable Europe will be. I threw it away ("I'm from Croatia, we eat rats for breakfast").


Fast-Forward three years to me thinking that maybe if I'd read it I could have avoided turning "one semester abroad" into "I am stuck here forever."

Now completely settled in my 3rd world country I can't help leaving my ants and tram fines for a bit of NC Luxury.

When I'm home I'll use the shit out of my [parents']:

a) Air Conditioning





b) Washing Machine
I haven't had one since December aka have been hand washing my clothes in the toilet.



c) Car
I don't take "road trips" because I can barely drive especially when I dont wear my glasses (they make my face look fat) so I basically just visit Drive-Thrus all day.









3) LOVE


My only friend/lover in Milan is that guy who sells flowers to couples on the Navigli. He likes me because I buy all his roses so as to prevent any boys giving them to actual girls via that being cliche and unfair (for me).


Thankfully in America I'll be showered with affection from my:

a) Dog




b) Other Dog




c) Cat




d) Other Cat




e) Ex Boyfriend



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