Wednesday, April 13, 2011

picking up guys; cafe edition

My friend Alex told me that I often say "I'm a Feminist, but..."

I don't mind opening doors or paying for drinks but I'm still not used to making creepy advances.

When you find yourself walking home from school listening to Amy Winehouse, hoping you don't burst into tears [again] and spot a group of cute guys sitting at a cafe the only thing to do is sit with them.

When you find yourself there with no way of introducing yourself without seeming like the pathetic loser you are, the only thing to do is have a loud provocative phone conversation aka get their attention.

"Hey Alex, what are you doing?...Yeah well I'm at this terrible cafe by my haus...Yes I'm alone...Well I'm depressed!...Can you come?...No, later I have this exclusive party...Yeah Lady Gaga will be there...Ok please hurry I'm going to cry."

*Hangs up phone*

"Excuse me I couldn't help overhearing; why are you depressed?"

Ideally situations like these lead to romantic dinners which lead to sleepovers which lead to holidays in Brazil (he tells me he's from Brazil).

Unfortunately Brazil kills this fantasy in 20 minutes by inviting me to a soccer game and showing me his flip flops.

I may be sad but I'm not desperate.

No comments:

Post a Comment