She informed me that there are, in fact, plenty of amazing single people looking for "love" online and that, instead of ridiculing her, she wants me to help her write an interesting "Bio."
She sent me an example of one guy's profile. He's apparently hot shit on Match.com and I'm trying to understand why.
CASE STUDY: MATCH MAN
"After reading some profiles that read more like a short story than a mini-bio, I'm going to go with a bulleted list like the ones that always made us smile when a professor in college allowed us to do so rather than writing full sentences."
Match Man starts by implying he's a "rebel" via not wanting to write a "regular" bio and that he went to college. (A James Dean type, only smarter).
o I teach a classroom of middle school students with autism and intellectual disabilities (the PC term for retardation). Yes, it's tough and yes, it requires a lot of patience. (I've received multiple emails including this phrase: 'that must take a lot of patients.' Sigh)
Here he says he teaches kids with disabilities which means he's nice, patient and will be a "good dad" to the mentally disabled kid you'll have with him.
He also makes it clear that he doesn't like spelling mistakes which means he's annoying.
o I train and compete in triathlons. My goal is to do an Ironman in the fall of '12.
o LA Boxing is modern torture that I'm paying $70/month for.
He must have a "hot body" via "working out" aka you will want to have sex with him. Also $70/month for boxing classes means he won't mind paying for your salad and tofu dinner.
o I'm going to be running a summer camp for 90 elementary students this summer and I have no idea what first graders are into nowadays. Garbage Pail Kids, trolls with fake gems in their belly buttons and slap bracelets? Help me!
Ugh ok more kid stuff (Yawn).
o I'm fascinated by ancient civilizations.
Cool, and I'm fascinated by anybody who would care to know that.
o Please don't have crazy ex's. Thanks.
LOL what--can't handle some ex-convicts you pussy?
o I have a hard time sitting still. I'm not ADHD but I need to have a purpose.
AKA we will have a lot of sex.
o I was on an episode of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire in 1999 but didn't get into the hot seat. Sigh.
o I'm genuinely a good guy who won't f you over.
Ok here he is totally exploiting the fact that you are on a dating site because you probably have been "f'd over" by tons of guys before but don't worry baby because HE'S NOT LIKE THEM.
o I'm the worst basketball coach. Apparently, running a three man weave and a zone defense is too difficult for eight year olds.