Saturday, May 14, 2011

The RAApture

The Rapture is a week away and Jesus is coming to judge us.

Will he be mad about my grades?

Upset I dabbled in Scientology?

Will he know I cheated on my boyfriends?

Jealous that Gaga's Jesus is hotter?


I've learned in this life you can't erase your Sins.

But I've also learned that if you look cute, you can get away with murder.


Here's what to wear for Jesus:

RAPTURE STYLE GUIDE 2011

1) Sandals
Sandals are disgusting but Jesus loves them. Buy a cheap pair and throw them out when he leaves.


2) Cotton
Jesus doesn't know about poly/nylon blends or American Apparel. Wear some simple natural fabrics to make him feel at home.


3) Diamonds
Wear expensive jewelry. This way Jay Bro will think yall are rich/important and will be less likely to Punish You.


**DON'T WEAR CROSSES**


How would you feel if people wore symbols of the Worst Day Of Your Life?

4) Black
You'll be mourning the death of your friends.

2 comments:

  1. hahhaa, love the new post.

    p.s. wrote a new one. ^^

    ReplyDelete
  2. tea why have you erased facebook? i can't communicate with you now!

    ps i worked on the judas video styling extras. i was there when they filmed the water crashing over her scene!

    gea

    ReplyDelete