Thursday, May 5, 2011

life after death

Just when I thought my life was going well (got new shoes) my Mexican Marvel reminded me that it's Tragic.

He told me he's transferring to San Fransisco. He is finished with Milan and doesn't understand how I can "stay here another year" (neither do I).

He says "another year" assuming that's when I'll finish school and I realized that at the rate I'm going, it may take longer--I've fallen behind in my classes due to Work, Boys, and Facebook.

I need Work for money and I need Boys for money so obviously I had to deactivate my Facebook account in hopes of aiding my studies.

I knew that doing so would leave me feeling empty and worthless but I didn't realize I'd be interrogated to the point where I start questioning my own existence.







I gave them my reasons and then I saw this:


FIRST OF ALL, FACEBOOK, ONLY ONE BOY WILL MISS ME?!

HOW

DARE

YOU

Secondly, are you trying to make me [more] depressed?

Like, WILL Hannah miss me?

Will people talk FB shit about me now that I'm gone?

Will Lady Gaga deactivate HER account in protest?

Will my friends die of boredom without me?


Will I actually study more now or just spend more time on People.com?

Who will I share thoughts [irrational insecurities] with?

Will I go to desperate measures to have my "voice heard" via starting a tumblr?

Will the boys I've been poking finally want to poke me back only now they won't be able to???

WILL I STILL EXIST?



In midst of Great Loss you must stay positive...

I wonder if I still have Myspace.

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