Thursday, August 25, 2011

so you think you can sew

I've written about Sara [aka Perry Hotter] about about a million times now-mostly because I practically live with her and because she's totally amazing. Hilarious, hot and smart, Sara is the type of girl who always got good grades and had time to party-without needing to have affairs with her teachers or taking tons of speed. Which is impressive.

Anyway, today I started on my collection for the exam I have next month (I had all year to do this, good timing as usual) so obvz I came to her when I realized I don't know what I'm doing (for those of yall who haven't kept up, Sara goes to my school and is one year ahead of me so it's perfect via her giving me old exam info, etc).

Here's what I wrote her in our usual English/Croatian/Italian mix-it's not important to understand, you'll get the basic idea that I'm losing my shit and need her help desperately. 

Like, before I could get away with my sewing exams via just laying down on a huge piece of fabric, cutting it out around my body and gluing it together. But now we have to make our own patterns as well, and yall, that shit is a science (hate science). Luckily Sara, being her Speedy Slovenian Self, sent me all the info within 5 minutes-check this crap out:

Tell me these aren't calculus formulas/astrological maps!

Ugh! All this has got me thinking-and I think I'm pretty pissed!

Welcome to:


1) False Hopes
I only went to Fashion School because I thought it would be easy-if I wanted to actually work on shit I would have studied Medicine-at least that way I'd get credit for "helping people" and could put "Dr." in front of my name! Fashion school is all the hard work but with none of the credit (literally everyone thinks Fashion students are total idiots-I even said so last week). I mean, really, what's the point?

2) Injustice
Architecture students don't have to build their own skyscrapers-why the HELL should I sew my own dress????

3) Treason
The reason why only Marangoni students get jobs after graduation is because:

1) they're all hot Swedish girls

and 2) they're taught not to do their own sewing! 

Marangoni students are encouraged to take their assignments to Chinatown and pay to get all the real work done (duh!)-that teaches them how it's gonna be in the industry and that is an unfair advantage.


In light of all this I've decided that instead of spending my last week in America via pattern-making/sewing, I'm gonna spend it via creating a strong business plan-for what will be NABA's very first sweatshop!

With a sweatshop, NABA will finally get some recognition, going down in history as the first(?) Italian University to use this charming trend!

Not only will students get hands-on training in realistic Industry Scenarios (manipulating, stealing paychecks, exploiting people, etc) but I will be forever remembered in the hearts of all Fashion Scholars who will never again have to cry themselves to sleep on a ball of crumpled pattern paper, torn-up fabric and pins scattered on the floor-because from now on, thanks to me, someone else will do that for them. 


  1. I was so depressed when I started fashion school, I was the worst at sawing and everyone around me seemed to be geniuses. Then I realised they were all cheating and spending 200e euros on each garment they "made"... I decided that I'd rather learn (and spend my money on drugs)and I'm glad I did, I'll never be a pattern drafter but now I understand the basics :)

  2. IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO SUCK AT TRYING THAN TO EXCELL AT CHEATING (applies to personal growth, not to good grades unfortunately...)

  3. Fuck patternmaking, I'm almost finished fashion school too and it still makes me want to com su more than ever. WHY didn't anybody tell me this was going to be so soul killing... I agree with everything in this post! Literally everybody who isn't studying fashion thinks we're a bunch of bimbo idiots gahh