Sunday, September 25, 2011


I've been complaining updating yall about my Health-Related Shoe Struggles for the past ~9 months but I'll recap for those who forgot: In January I started having Mysterious Leg Issues my Doctor/Mom thought were associated with the fact that I have been walking/sleeping in high heels for the past few years. So after having an emotional breakdown/identity crisis

I slowly weaned myself off of them-only wearing heels when I Go Out-which is fine in theory but mostly just made me Lose Practice so when I went to London last week I ended up falling in platforms and twisting my ankle so now I'm swollen and bruised and have a limp when I walk and not in the Kreayshawn way. Considering that, this week I've actually Partied in flat shoes-and by "partied" I mean Fashion Week Partied-aka was the shortest stumpy girl in a room of chic, tall, starving trannies-and surprisingly the results were awesome.

I don't get any straight-male attention in Milan regardless of my ~Fashion~ but I was pretty worried what the gays/girls would say-so you can imagine my relief when getting more compliments than ever-"you look OK from across the room."

Anyway, I've decided that Heels Are Over, it's better to be Cool than Hot and stealing bottles of vodka is easier when you can run away without falling.

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