Tuesday, November 29, 2011

CRUMPETS COOKING

I don't talk much about food here because I've had basically every type of Eating Disorder in history ranging from Anorexia to Pseudo Bulimia to Looking At Magazine Pictures Of Food While Chewing Sugar Free Gum-but recently I've been trying to be "healthy" via wanting to live long enough to at least see my Dogs grow up to get married and have children or whatever so I've been trying to cook lately which has been easier than I thought because I kind of have always hated loved Rachael Ray anyway.


CRUMPETS COOKING GUIDE 2021


1) Breakfast
So I feel like I've been craving chocolate more than usual lately, probably because I'm getting my period more than usual lately, probably because my body is trying to remind me of how much sex I'm not having lately? Anyway, mix these two together for a Wholesome Breakfast (use chocolate powder instead of milk because everyone knows dairy makes you fat).



2) Lunch
I've been kind of obsessed with soup lately mostly because it comes from a bag but also because it's hot and makes you poop a lot. This is my favorite one because it's creamy and therefore reminds me of Starbucks Cappuccinos. Just mix this with water or chocolate powder for like ten minutes and you've got yourself a meal! (It says three servings for one bag but just ignore that).


3) Dinner
Italians eat a lot of pasta which I guess is ok because Disney made it romantic but honestly I can't ever wait long enough for water to boil so I usually end up just putting the stuff in like semi-warm water and waiting overnight for it to "cook" which usually results in a bunch of cold wormy white things I end up flushing down the toilet. So actually I just eat spaghetti raw most of the time, dipped in olive oil when I'm feeling fancy.



4) Dessert
There's no Little Debbie  in Milan but I think I've found the Next Best Thing.



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