Thursday, November 3, 2011

Meanwhile, in Russia

I'm currently in a crisis of deciding where I should move when I finish school. Because London is expensive, New York is cliche and LA is too tan. So I'm stuck between Tokyo and Moscow. I think I'd fit in well in Tokyo because I love Lost in Translation and wear lots of eyeliner in a way I think resembles the way Hollywood portrays "Geishas." But then I'm totally obsessed with Russia[ns]. 




For years I've been just dreaming of meeting a сексуальный мужчина called "Vladimir" who will introduce me to Naomi Campbellteach me how to play Chess and take me shopping for fur, illegal weapons, blood diamonds and caviar. Honestly, I even try to be Russian here-my favorite bar in Milan is called PRAVDA, and now, so is my News.




I mostly ignore any "current events" that don't involve Lindsay Lohan's criminal record and think newspapers only serve as a way for Grown Ups to cover their faces when crying so their children don't have to see. So the "News" is something I avoid. However, this Russian Site is actually fantastic-this shit is legit. Like, Italians are always complaining about "La Crisi" but they don't even know what a real crisis is:




Can you imagine? That's basically like losing your family. And speaking of Family, yall better get used to your Daughters and Sisters fighting yall's fights (and dancing and singing and making sculptures)!




This article also reminds me that nude stockings are always In. But according to other parts of the site, Obama definitely isn't.




(Nice Fish-Eye effect #ILOVETHE90S).




Poor lil 'Bama, seems he's not too popular. I wonder what is? 




Obviously. 




Ok do Russian men actually look like this? What am I doing here?



4 comments:

  1. Come to Bristol!!!!
    Not that I'm bothered or anything...we could hang...maybez.
    #dreamcometrue.

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  2. Move to Budapest.
    I don't live there, I just know it's so in right now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey gurl, three days a go you were just japanese. I didn't know that pravda.ru would open you a new world.

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  4. San Francisco, duh!

    ReplyDelete