So now that my Putas left me to sit alone in the dark in my room and talk to myself and smell the sheets they slept on till I cry,
I have time to update yall on Last Night's Highly-Anticipated Finger Magazine Launch (Leaked) Party.
In preparation the girls wanted to make Penis-Shaped cookies,
but everyone knows Russians only cook potatoes and Koreans only eat raw squid so basically the peens turned into a big mush of burnt buttery crap which I ended up eating anyway:
We hosted the party at our favorite Dominican (Cuban? Mexican?) bar best known for impromptu stripping and the Kebaps next door.
I obviously forgot to bring my camera so I can't show yall any ~details~ till the paparazzi photos are published but I can say it was a Huge Success in that Yulia broke all the glasses, Sue fell asleep on the couch,
and I got rejected by everyone.
Regardless, the zine is totally Major thanks to help from Luca and of course our stunning Cover Boy aka Filip's Uncle-for now we only have ten copies so we're selling them for 50 Euros a piece.
"50 Euros?! Think of all the cheeseburgers you could buy for that money!"
I understand. But these are our Special Hanukkah Edition Issues. They're worth it.
Anyway tomorrow I'm off to America so I can't write much because I have tons of dirty clothes to pack for Mom to wash and I still need to watch this video Filip made of me at least another hundred times before I can start:
See yall in NC!