CRUMPETS 24th BIRTHDAY WISH LIST
THINGS I WANT THAT AREN'T ACTUAL THINGS YOU CAN BUY ME BUT PLEASE HELP ME SOMEHOW ANYWAY
1) YOUTH[FUL APPEARANCE]
No matter how much cream I use or how often I avoid sleeping face-down I just can't seem to stop getting wrinkles! I asked my Smoother Friends for advice but Filip just said "mayonnaise," Yulia suggested "vodka" and Sue was like, "when I lived in Korea I used to put Slug Slime on my face, which helped. But also my mom is a plastic surgeon and also I'm only 19." #shutup
Honestly I don't know why I even went back there after what happened last time.
3) A FUTURE
My Professor/Thesis Advisor/Fashion Icon insisted I read "How To Have a Lifestyle" by Quentin Crisp so I asked my Mom to order it for me but she was just like, "don't you already have this?" And I was like, "no that was Breaking Dawn."
6) A LIFE