Saturday, December 31, 2011

MY TEENAGE BEDROOM

In addition to drinking with her Dad,


shopping with her Mom,



and gossiping with her Dogs,




I'm happy to say Tea's been pretty busy-moving into her Sister's Old Bedroom,



now that Hers has been taken.



Since moving to Milan Tea's Old Bedroom has been turned into a Pet Motel,




Laundromat




and Experimental Greenhouse. 




And though I'm glad her pets and plants are enjoying this space I'd like to document some of the shit in here before it's ~Lost Forever~




Like Cult Invitations,




Marriage Proposals





And shit in her closet,




Including Myself. 




Nice to meet you! My name is Sleepy and I was a Valentine's Day gift from Tea's First High School Boyfriend. It was rumored he bought me via stealing money from a Church and while I don't know about that I do know he was Hot and Dangerous and made Tea feel very special. In fact, their romance lasted almost a year until she moved on to his Best Friend. Anyway, I've been hanging out in Tea's room close to ten years now so I think I'm qualified to host a tour:




Here are Tea's old records! Pay attention kids, because before Tumblr this is what adolescents used to impress their stupid friends with and what they spent time on when depressed.




Tea found classical music especially helpful in End Of The World Situations such as her Mom catching her skipping school or her gaining two pounds or whatever. She used to spend a lot of time crying on the floor while holding me and listening to this and calling whoever she was in an abusive relationship with at the moment. Those were the best days of my life.




Tea's Comic Books.




As a kid she loved Archie,




and as a teenager she fell in love with a guy named Matt who used to work at Chapel Hill Comics who she'd visit every weekend, dressed age-inappropriate with money to burn, usually on Japanese Graphic Novels she'd have to read backwards and therefore never understood. I remember one day Tea was studying Chemistry in her room with me and Matt was hosting a College Radio show and dedicated a song to Tea. She cried tears of joy. Matt eventually got married and moved away but I've been guarding their memories since.




I'm not sure what this is but I'd like to think Tea stole it in a fit of Teenage Rebellion.




Please excuse me while I order us some Chinese Dumplings and Meth.




I'm opening Tea's ~Secret Drawer~




"Secret" because it holds Gang Memorabilia 


 

and obvz tons of Love Letters From Boys (I'm convincing Tea to do a video post of her reading them all aloud so stay tuned for that).



Oh yeah also she used to collect Sugar Packets from Cafe's Around The World and by "around the world" I mean in Croatia.




Here's a picture from when Tea went to DC to protest the War In Iraq where she actually fell for a boy named Evan who she ended up dating for a few months (not pictured). Who's surprised that she's pigtailed and hugging two cops? Seems she hasn't changed much!




Here are some of Tea's Cds she left behind-I can really relate to The Distillers in that Brody and I are both misunderstood. I'm not a bitch I'm just strong!




"Alternative Girl Thrift Store Crap,"




and Tea's favorite book/movie/underwear combo. 




Tea also used to do "Art," before she discovered Blogspot. It will not be missed.




I love reading Tea's old Diary. It's kind of like The Diary of Anne Frank meets War and Peace meets How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days-There's a lot of troubling stuff in here, not for the faint of heart.




Tea's favorite Punk Rock Box Set, a Sweet Sixteen gift from her Mom (Tea couldn't ask for a car, she didn't know how to drive),




and finally, her Third Grade Yearbook.





I didn't know Tea then but look how chic she was in her overalls and Anna Wintour haircut.




Lolz at Tea ripping out "Will Jordan," she must have been obsessed with him, whoever he is. The depressing thing is Tea still knows basically everyone in this picture: Grace Jones is now married (sorry gurl), Linda is avoiding her "Helping People" in Brooklyn, Robert works at a Mexican Restaurant nearby and Matthew See is probably smoking weed somewhere with his Mom.




And now I'm exhausted.



4 comments:

  1. this is hilarious

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  2. Oh my god, that pigtails photo is so cute. If we'd gone to the same high school I would have had a major crush.

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  3. omg. never wanted this post to end. foreign nostalgia overload

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  4. these days i only receive romantic facebook chat messages, not romantic love letters

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