Monday, December 5, 2011

SEXT BFS

Hey yall! The new Wired Italia is out and this month's the ~APOCALYPSE ISSUE~ 



I like this one a lot because the letters are pink and because it has Cosmo-Style Horoscopes in the back predicting all of next year! Mine basically says I will never finish school but that's probably just cuz we're all gonna die next month. Anyway, here's the English Version of my Article. I wrote about Online Boyfriends:




Single since three years, it’s hard to believe now I’ve ever had Boyfriends. Boyfriends, who knew my name, kissed me after blowjobs and saw my face without makeup. Boyfriends, who made me dinner and went on Tampon Runs. Boyfriends, who prevented me from screwing other people. Nothing’s worse than your Boyfriend texting you when you’re trying to flirt with a stranger. In fact, I think the #1 rule of Boyfriends should be No Cell Phone Use. Which is why I don’t understand TextBoyfriend.Com-a site offering Virtual Boyfriends to send “sweet texts” aka annoy the shit out of you: “Never be without attention/TextBoyfriend texts you three times a week/Your friends will be jealous!” Really? Your friends will envy worthless affection? That you pay for? You may as well start buying yourself dying roses and tickets to football games. Fake Girlfriends are just as sad, but at least they are for free. FakeGirlfriend.Co is SMS-based, while CloudGirlfriend.Com creates false relationships with “real girls” via Facebook, promising to attract more: “The best way to get a girlfriend is to already have one.” This is actually true. I’m surprised there’s no FakeWife.Com, because lately I crave married men. Artificial Relationships are weird and unnecessary, if you ask me, but if you ask me, so is childbirth. That being said, there are perks: FakeGirlfriend can’t catch you cheating, CloudGirlfriend will never fake orgasms and when you want to leave your TextBoyfriend, all you do is write him “STOP.”




1 comment:

  1. My boyfriend sends me pictures of his cock while I'm in class. Real boyfriend: 1, Textboyfriend: nil.

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