Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
and old high school rivals who now think I'm cool and want to win me over (that probably isn't true but I had to write something and "my parents" didn't have the same ring to it).
The only remarkable commenter before my Suicide Threat has been my doting "Anonymous." With Anonymous and me it was love at first sight-though I couldn't actually see him-but I knew he was hot and could feel his deep love (obsession) for me from Post One.
But like any relationship, ours had it's problems and I'm trying to see what went wrong...
Anon and I are getting on well-he even helps me choose my outfits.
Though sometimes harsh, he supports my work and gives me the push that I need.
Why is he laughing? I feel annoyed. ("What the hell do you know about romance?")
Anonymous and I are unhappy. I start going out, drinking heavily and looking for love in new places. He sees me spreading myself around town and gets insanely jealous.
Frustrated, Anon starts mocking me. I realize I've made myself vulnerable. My mother always warned me about Italians (but sadly not mozzarella).
Well that's confusing-it seems Anonymous goes "both ways?"
Is he serious? I leave the country for a week and he starts checking out my boyfriends?
Ok since when is he a stylist? I swear this is the LAST TIME I fall for a gay!
He isn't making sense-I'm losing him.
What about MY shoes? Stop creeping other girls!
He's just trying to get me back...don't know if I should go there.
I hear makeup sex is the best-let's give it one more try?
Wait, I'm pretty sure this one's my Dad.
Monday, July 25, 2011
When he moved to Milan he took me "under his wing," (sensed I needed "help"), let me spend nights at his apartment so I could watch Family Guy, eat all his food and cry about boys. After he moved away he let me stay with him in Venice, London and with Karley in Brooklyn. He helped me with work, inspired me and made me feel “confident" enough to fight my depression. He kept me away from McDonald's and taught me the virtues of dating men who aren't so "abusive."
But about a week ago it all made sense-his intentions became quite clear-when he told me I should “redesign” my blog and make it “easier to read.”
I kinda hoped people just checked it to see if I've uploaded new pictures of myself. But Matthew has never done me wrong so I went ahead with his advice.
1) in changing the design I also got rid of the “like” application, losing all evidence of everyone (Matthew and my Mother) who were enjoying my posts
2) the blog lost its "edge" (via being white instead of black #duh) and
3) worst of all, just as Matthew predicted, it became easy to read.
What Matthew didn't realize is that the appeal of my blog has always been it's inaccessibility-people are forced to skim through it and just assume that it's good (or terrible) because if they try to focus too hard they'll get brain damage/seizures.(Like when I first moved to Italy and thought people were interesting because I couldn't understand a word they were saying-no surprise that now that I'm fluent I want to get the hell out).
In addition to that, ever since I changed the design I haven't had ANYthing to write about! My mojo, so to speak, (should I bring that back) is gone. And no, this has nothing to do with the fact that this week I've been in Chapel Hill, doing nothing but watching Oprah reruns and stalking my professors online (I graduate next year and have yet to have an affair with a teacher (actually I already have just not my own so it doesn't count)).
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
finally meeting Susan (nail icon),
and catching up with Murr, who I haven't seen since we decided not to be friends after getting kicked out of a Milan Club for trying to light my pantyhose on fire. Since moving to New York he's gotten a dog and a boyfriend and has inspired me to do the same
(I prefer cats but you get the idea).