Friday, January 6, 2012


Last night after three pitchers of Frozen Strawberry Margaritas and what I'm told was an exciting one-woman show featuring me rapping about my Reproductive Organs and offering to sell my Eggs to people and having my Own Mother tell me that maybe the reason why I don't have a boyfriend is because men are afraid I will destroy their life in a Fit of Alcoholic Rage, I had to ask myself some questions, like 

1) What exactly was I rapping because it sounds cool,
2) Did anyone buy my eggs (should I set up a Pay Pal) and

In longing to learn more about my Condition I turned to the Web for advice-and found this website which promised to give me a diagnosis on my Relationship With Booze via this Alcoholic Screening Quiz. I took it and here's what happened:

Don't know how much more it can be ruined?

I mean I kind of always do. Is this a trick question?

Only when I'm too drunk to steal.

Define "inferior."

A ten pack a day is pretty efficient. 

What's a job?

I'm only worried this quiz killing my buzz.

I gave up on that years ago.

Damn I thought I'd do better than 25% - guess I'd better study!

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