Monday, January 9, 2012


Today was my last day with my Sister in DC before I go back to Milan and as much as I wanted to stay in and watch another Romantic Comedy Featuring Strong Female Lead with Her and Mom I realized I have to start studying if I wanna graduate before menopause so I told them I'm going out to "read" so Mom gave me her Debit Card so I could get coffee or whatever so I put the Debit Card in one of my books but at the cafe I finished my book so when I get back to my Sister's Apartment I left the book on her floor.

Later my Mom was like "lets go out" and I was like "cool let's do that" and she was like "you have my Debit Card, right" and I was like "Duh" so we walked for like an hour to get to this French Cafe which is like a million miles away from my Sister's Place and on the way there I noticed a bunch of purple cabbages so I was like "look, Mom what the hell" and she was like "whatever" (this is #foreshadowing or something just pay attention). Anyway at the cafe we got coffee and cakes and and some other stuff and a bill of fifty bucks so Mom was like "Tea, give me my card" and I was like "why" and she was like "because we have to pay" and I looked for it in my bag and couldn't find it so I was like "oh shit I don't have it" and she was like "why" and I was like "because I put it in my book and I left my book at Sister's Place" and so she was like "well don't you have your card" and I was like "duh, no, don't you have cash" and she was like "no" so it turned out we didn't have anything so I had to walk back to my Sister's Apartment alone while my Mom waited there so that we wouldn't get in trouble for leaving and because we couldn't call my Sister for help because she was asleep. So I headed out alone and obviously got lost after like 5 minutes because every inch of DC looks exactly the same and I'm really bad with numbered streets and I don't even have a phone or an iPod here so I had to ask some guys where the Hilton Hotel is because I remembered it being nearby but the guys were like "which hotel" and I was like "the Hilton" and they were like "there's more than one Hilton here" and I was like "the big one" and they were like "..." and I was like "you know near that hill near that really trendy area with gay people or whatever" and they walked away. 

So I kept getting lost and I imagined my Mom having to wash dishes at that cafe to pay off our bill and meanwhile my Sister waking up alone and wondering why neither of us ever came home and me having to beg for change to use a Pay Phone to call for Help but nobody giving me any which leads to me stealing which leads to me going to jail which leads to me being friends with Lindsay Lohan which leads to me missing my flight. And when I almost started to cry I saw those f'ing cabbages I had seen with my Mom earlier and they were just across the street and for a second I thought to myself "wow everything's OK" and then I thought "actually maybe there are other cabbages in this city" but then I realized that sometimes you've just got to Follow Your Heart.

Needless to say we're home safely. 


  1. lolz you're such a good storytella

  2. I love the way you ramble, it's oddly cohesive.

    so, let me just get this out of the way real quick - OMG, YOU'RE TOTES FUCKIN' FOLLOWING ME, LAWDAMERCY I AM SO EXCITED.

    anyway. you're cute shit. much love. <3.