I'M A RICH BITCH BABY (HOW I'LL SPEND MONEY I FOUND ON THE GROUND)

It's a cold afternoon in Milan and Filip and I are just exiting Zara on our way to Arnold's coffee and I'm lamenting over how I can't afford a pair of 27 Euro shorts and worrying if I can allow myself to buy a Chai Latte when I look down on the ground and see two abandoned crisp 50 Euro bills begging to be picked up.


"Here, take this," I say, as I push one into Filip's hand.
"What is this?"
"Just keep walking!"
"Did you find this on the ground?"
"Jesus loves us."
"This is the best day of our lives."
"I know."

How should we spend our money?

Should we buy some new shoes?
Lana Del Rey CDs?
Gummy bears?
American Apparel leggings?
A bottle of champagne?
Anti-wrinkle cream?
Botox?
Fake LV handbags?
Some baby kittens?
A day at the spa?
Sushi buffet?
Moleskin notebooks?
A juicer?
A microwave?
Vitamin supplements?
Diet pills?
Hot dogs?
Bikini waxes?
Teeth whitening strips?
Fake nails?
Self-respect?
Business cards?
Gluten-free cookies?
Ikea towels?
New boyfriends?


Or one Lady Gaga ticket we'll fight to the death for?