Friday, June 1, 2012

IN WHICH I HAVE NO PURPOSE

Today was my Last Day of School. 


I don't mean like, for this summer, or just till exams start, or just till I FEEL LIKE going back. I mean like, forever. Today was my LAST DAY of school.


So it was a big deal. So obviously I dressed up. I dressed up like a Real Lady. I wore a yellow long dress and pearls and my sister's old heels. I didn't curse all day and I kept my legs crossed when I sat and I didn't pick my wedgies [in public].


I thought it would be an Important Day. I thought it would Make Me Feel Different. I thought Something Would Happen. But, as when picking boys to screw or fad diets to try-my expectations were wrong. No message from God, no Big Revelation, not even a Kanye West retweet. I feel the same-and I am the same-only now, I'm also a #LOSER.


I hate school but I love being a student. It's an excuse to be delusional, do nothing all day, act pretentious and spend your Mom's money. It's an excuse to say "I don't know yet" when people ask you "what you do." It's an excuse to blindly believe you'll be successful and not in the "I have lots of tumblr followers" kinda way.


I still have exams and a thesis to do but it's like, my ~Student Life~ is over. Which means I need a Real Job ("freelance writing" doesn't count). Which means I need to learn how to speak to people without winking at them all the time. Which means I need to stop saying "LOLZ." Which means I need to stop posting pictures of my butt on the internet. Which means I need to learn how to use a stapler-at least until I find someone who is willing to pay me to Just Be Myself




Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is, now that I don't have to go to classes (and assuming I'll be unemployed for long) that means I'll have more time to write on here because I haven't really done that in months and anyway we all know I won't be using my extra time to send out resumes to Prada or MtvItalia or Burger King. Because I don't have one. But I do have the will to write. And so from now on I promise that once again I'll tell y'all all about what I think about Beyonce's Baby or Rihanna's new butt or the boys I'm dating or how I leave things at their apartments to have a reason to come back and how when they don't let me come back I leave messages on their answering machines whispering Beyonce's "Why Don't You Love Me." (This is, of course, assuming I haven't forgotten how to write *stabs hand with pencil, curses God*)




ANYWAY. To celebrate my new Freedom/The End of My Life, tonight I'm going out dressed as a Professional Boxer In Her Dressing Room After a Hard Fight and Before a Blind Date




Maybe I'll find a job.

7 comments:

  1. Congrats on finishing school! While I hope you find your dream job ASAP and everything in your life becomes totes perfect forever, I'm also looking forward to more posts by you!

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  2. I missed your normal, written posts

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  3. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. Trust me, you don't need to stop posting pictures of your butt on the internet, you could have a job and be always yourself ;)(anyway, ask me if you really need support with your resume)

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  5. Oh good girl, I know that particular moment, but trust me, you could have a job and be always yourself, so don't stop posting pictures of your butt on internet ;)
    anyway, ask me if you need any support for your resume)

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  6. Even if you still spending my money,and I cannot by a motorcycle, You and your sister are my heroes. Don't worry be happy!

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