I thought about sex
and ate a Fiber-Rich, Healthy Breakfast.
Like any other day, I took my birth control, fish oil and vitamin pills, examined myself naked in a full-length mirror, cried, took a nap, woke up and finally sat down at My Macbook Pro to use The Internet, aka send my Dad animal memes on Facebook
and wait for him to approve.
Just as I was about to harass my Mom on Skype, I saw something new. Something exciting. Shit Just Got Real, you guys. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this ~Glam~ Work Of Art and one simple, important message:
A Beautiful Bubblegum Princess made this for me and now I guess I can die ~Satisfied~ despite not yet having graduated from college or figuring out why that Last Guy won't return my calls or even smelling Lady Gaga's perfume.
So thank you, my Delicate Flower, my Guardian Angel, my Majestic Unicorn. I love you, too.