Wednesday, October 3, 2012

FROM NAPLES W/TEARS

I've been in Naples since Saturday and it's been a roller-coaster of emotions, tears and fear. I've learned a lot. I've learned that it is possible for Sensitive Little Tea to want to not only punch people in the face but also carry a knife. I've learned how much I appreciate garbage men, as well as my ability to speak without yelling. I've learned to value my life after thinking I'm going to die on a cobblestone street via some man following me via car or the one on the motorcycle or the drunk one on the steps. I've learned that nobody here knows what gluten-free means. I've learned that I need this bed: 


I learned quickly that in this city I should not wear high heels unless I'm ready to experiment with spirituality [get killed]. I realized that I can not wear the chic-to-death ensembles I packed because they are literally chic-to-DEATH. I've learned that I don't enjoy men spitting on my leopard print skirt or tripping me in my platforms. So I learned to settle for running shorts, pajama shirts, bathrobes and flats. (I had to buy the flats here, because I didn't bring any, duh). I call the look below Tired Masseuse: 


If you're wondering why I'm in Naples, it's because my friends are getting married here next week. If you're wondering why I'm here this week, It's because when I told my Mom I'm going to Naples, she said she wants to join me and that she has a way to get here for free. If you're wondering how, she did it via ~Being A Scientist~ and finding an ~Astronautical Congress~ here to "take part in," whatever that means.  If you're wondering what this picture below is, it's of me in front of some kind of space thingy inside the Science Conference. If you're wondering why I'm wearing a name tag it's because I'm secretly in NASA. If you're wondering if the conference was fun, it wasn't. If you're wondering if scientists are hot, they are. If you're still wondering why my friends are getting married, I don't know.


After the conference my Mom and I compared who has more wrinkles and so far I'm winning. 



Then we discussed politics and World Peace.


Then we went to some dumb, tiny island where I ate a pear because that's the only food I can eat here that won't give me violently miscarried food babies. 


Naples is really into shrines, like this one for Lady Gaga:


Here I made a new friend.


My mom and I had to take pictures of ourselves by ourselves via my arm because nobody else will do it for us because the people around us don't like us because they think we are lesbians. 


Finally I modeled my fashun look before jumping off this ledge.


Or whatever.



2 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're ok! And that you and your awesome mama are being badasses in a hostile environment. Fuck those disrespectful fools...
    -cynthia

    ReplyDelete
  2. What brand/shade of lipstick do you use?

    ReplyDelete