I've been going through tons of ideas for costumes-now that I'm blonde, I can finally be Marilyn Monroe or Miley Cyrus or Chris Brown! I can finally be a freezing Leonardo DiCaprio or a psychotic Angelina Jolie or or a dead Scarlett Johansson! I can finally be Ursula or David Bowie! But then I was like eh none of those people are as famous as me so whatever I'll go as myself.
I don't mean my blonde self, she's boring and old and graduating and trying to find a job and doesn't even smoke or party anymore and hasn't gone on a date with an actual boy (or girl) in forever. I'm talking Vintage Tea, 2010 Tea, the Tea We All Knew And Loved.
Current Tea As Vintage Tea:
The resemblance is uncanny!!!
This Halloween being Vinage Tea will mean being full of hope, dreams, devastating love and devastation in general. It will mean thinking that alcohol calories don't "count," that "Alejandro" is the best song in existence (it is), that sleep is only for #losers or cats, that you really are Missing Something Crucial if you don't attend every single party Facebook invites you to. It will mean wearing American Apparel and not being embarrassed about it, it will mean applying a face powder two shades too light and shaping underwear and control-top panty hose, because I think I'm fat (I am). It will mean I will obsessively be calling someone I shouldn't and then crying over it and wiping my tears and my bloody nose with my American Apparel Figure Skater Dress. It will mean I will be kind of sad. But I'm still kind of sad. Will I never not be kind of sad? What's the point of Halloween anyway? Dumb holiday.
PS- Yeah so I haven't been making any ~videos~ or blogging or whatever but it's like I have this new ~video project~ coming up and y'all will see so it's not like I've just been sitting on a couch watching TV and scratching my balls all day, not that there's anything wrong with that! The shit I'll show y'all soon will be in Italian BUT I'm gonna start making lolz subtitles for it because obviously it's much harder to obsess over me if you can't understand what I'm saying right? Anyway here's a ~preview