Why was I in a cage? Because a Croatian Woman put me there. Why? Cuz she was saving me! You see, I've been living in the parking lot by her work, NCCU. How did I get there? It's a long story. And by "long story" I mean a sad story and by "sad story" I mean I'm not gonna get into it because I'll cry and I don't feel like re-doing my makeup. Anyway, I've become famous as the "Parking Lot Cat" and I know this, because that's what all the students called me, the ones who would feed me scraps from their unhealthy cafeteria lunches. I guess I owned that parking lot and living there made me cool. But being cool doesn't pay the bills and it definitely doesn't get you free tuna. Anyway, let's not dwell on the past. Look, here's me with my new roommate, she keeps kissing on me and I keep being like, "why you so obsessed with me?"
I know why she's obsessed with me, though, it's cuz I'm hella cute. Speaking of cute, here's me snuggled up under some covers, being luxurious like the Parking Lot Queen that I am. Only now I'm a Bed Queen. A House Queen. I own all of you.
Yeah, I'm a homeowner now! Because after that Croatian Lady tempted me with food and got me into that cage and drove me around in her car and brought me to her home she let me out and told me I can live there now, if I want to, and I said "yes." So now I'm living in Chapel Hill instead of Durham, sleeping on fluffy pillows instead of concrete and bingeing on Gourmet Cat Food from Whole Foods instead of garbage. And though I'll kind of miss that parking lot and really miss those kids who fed me high-fructose corn syrup, I most definitely will not miss being cold and lonely and hungry and dirty and cold (and so dirty!). I'm glad I stuck around there for as long as I did, though, and didn't give up. You should never give up. Because your life can change any second. So just keep going and going and checking those trashcans and licking your butt and meowing your heart out even when you feel you can't go on, because tomorrow just may be the day that Croatian Woman saves you.
So keep your tail up! That's all for meow.