Tuesday, January 15, 2013

struggle street

Hey y'all! My thesis is due in two days (I have to send it to Italy via Express Mail because I'm an idiot and didn't know it would be due while I'm still here? whatever) and I still have soooo many tweets to copy/paste into it before I'm done so I'll have to make this post quick. I just got back from NYC yesterday and here's what I can say:

Boys like Yulia. She has hot guys coming over like every second even though the inside of her refrigerator looks like Cat Marnell's (just replace the pill bottles with film rolls). 

They even sleep over sometimes even though instead of an actual mirror she has a large piece of tin foil on her wall.

They even do her makeup and refuse to eat whatever take-out food she brings them for breakfast therefore leaving it all for her  me.

Everybody is a lesbian now, which makes me feel left out and also sorry about the fact that I just invested so much money in birth control.

The city is dangerous and full of crime and I could tell via the dead bodies. 

Devonte Hynes aka Blood Orange is a liar because he said he watched the first three episodes of GIRLS because he "went to the premiere" but he won't tell me what happens in them (???) and also at one point claimed Justin Timberlake is a #relevant musician. Suspicious behavior if I've ever seen it.  

People are dumb. Like, some dude stopped me on the street on the way back to NC and asked me if I'm Lady Gaga (which I would have taken as a compliment before she gained weight) and so I was like "yes" because I figured after I spoke he would GET that I'm joking but actually then he just asked me if he could take a picture with me and I was like obvi and he was like my girlfriend makes gold rings and we'd love to give one to you and I was like ok thanks and then he told me I'm doing great things and shook my hand and he left (I am doing great things).

I feel bad for the dude, because when he posts that picture, everyone will be like, "that's not Lady Gaga, you dumbass, that's OBVIOUSLY Tea Hacic-Vlahovic!!" 

(That's not The Dude w/me, that's Yulia laughing at him asking me for a picture That Very Second). 

Anyway bro if you see this I'm still totes interested in those rings. 

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