1) DRESS TO IMPRESS
The only reason I haven't been expelled yet is because I've been wearing high-heels to school every day for the past four years. Dressing up not only shows that you Care About Academia via wanting it to think you're hot but also gives you an excuse for being late to every lesson. "I can't walk" doesn't go over well if you're in Sensible Shoes, and "I was held up via sexual harassment" isn't as convincing if you're in sweatpants.
Your Fellow Students are worthless at best and your competition at worst so you should avoid them. But get friendly with the professors! They're the ones who can hook you up with connections, internships, jobs and those pre-paid vending machine cards.
Other people's answers. You never have to read a single art history book if you're at least smart enough to overhear the oral exam answers of your peers via "looking for your contact lense/tampon/food stamp" under their seats.
You have to invest Real Time on school if you want it to pay off! I've spent entire days on campus when I didn't even have class or in the cafeteria when I did have class, because that way, you're more Present. If people see you around all the time, they'll assume your'e a vital member of the Learning Community. (You are)!
5) GIVE BACK
Show your appreciation by recruiting new
School is like a dog in that if you love it, it will love you back, even if it sometimes pees on your leg or makes you pay a 90 euro tax for graduation.
Happy Studies Y'all :)