Friday, January 23, 2015

KIM KARDASHIAN'S 'SELFISH' AS A BOOK OF POEMS

Everyone knows Kim K is dropping a book of selfies in May. What you may not know is the book was Kanye’s idea! First, he had the nerve to replace her fur Uggs with a Furkini and now he’s butting into her publishing dreams? Not cool. Sources speculate that Kim’s original book idea was deeper than meets the thigh. Word is, she originally planned on releasing a collection of personal poems! Below are a few examples of the genius that could have been…





The Contours of the Wind
Chin, Nose, Cheeks
shine bright,
shed light
On the universe.
Lips, Eyes, Forehead
Like a black hole,
my soul
sucks foundation


Swallow Up a G String
My thighs rise and fall
with the tides
Who are you to say
baby, one more time?
this slap, clap is mine
(unless it’s yours)
No, really.



Don’t Cry For Me
Kim, there are people that are dying
She says
I know that!
I’m one of them.



image


All of the Lights
Flash?
Flash, Flash.
Yes?
(flash)
Here?
FLASH!
YES!
FLASH! FLASH!
No.
flash?
Go away!
click
Please, don’t leave me!



There’s No Place Like Hoe
Mama is my favorite
Spice Girls song
Mama, I love you,
Mama my friend
I sang that, too
I’m the mom now, bitch
Stop stealing my clothes.






Can I Live? (If Living is Without You)
Your love nourishes
like egg whites
Not too heavy,
child of mine.
Your Prada shoes
my Givenchy hat
in symmetry. you complete me
So I crop you
From my selfies


---

(Originally from my BUZZFEED)

Friday, January 9, 2015

H E R D O N I S M



I made an "art" film during Miami Art Basel! It features the marvelous Matthew Stone, Millie Brown and a Pineapple! Millie and Matthew were kind enough to get grass stains on their pants and the Pineapple was OK with getting run over by cars on Ocean Drive (RIP). Watch it here and read the lolz/sweet description by Wonderland mag HERE :)